Can’t Orgasm? 5 Helpful Tips for Women
Written by Evan DeMarco
Sex is a major component in many relationships. But for some women, sex isn’t all that it’s made out to be. An inability to orgasm is a surprisingly common complaint among women, and there could be many reasons as to why.
If you aren’t able to reach climax, whether alone or with your partner, there’s no need to fret! Identifying the problem and finding solutions may require time and patience, but hopefully, you’ll be able to begin having orgasms in no time.
The reason behind a lack of orgasms
Some women have recently discovered their inability to orgasm, despite having had orgasms before. Others have never experienced an orgasm in their lives. Both problems are more common than many women think. Compared to the number of men who are able to always achieve orgasm, the number of women who are able to consistently reach the “big O” is much smaller.
An inability to orgasm often comes with a lot of embarrassment or shame, but it should not. It’s important to realize this is a common problem, and often one with a few simple solutions.
Some women are unable to orgasm because of stress or anxiety. Getting in your own head can take you out of the moment and make you focus on something much less exciting, potentially even putting you in a bad mood instead of the mood.
In other cases, a lack of chemistry or “work” is to blame. Partners need to work together to identify what feels good and keep at it to help each other climax. Communication and a lack of attention in the right areas may result in disappointment.
Remember: Orgasms are not always easy to achieve. They require work in many areas (mind, body and intimacy) to get the best possible results.
Tips for getting that big O
Even if sex or masturbation feels good, a lack of orgasm can put a damper on the entire experience. Take time to identify what’s holding you back and try these tips to get the mind-blowing orgasm you deserve.
1. Get to know yourself
In some cases, women start having sex without understanding their own bodies and what feels the best to them. It’s crucial to have some intimate time with yourself and experiment to identify your erogenous zones: What touches turn you on and where your partner can focus that will drive you crazy.
Once you know what you like (and what you don’t), it’s up to you to communicate those things with your partner. Get vocal in the bedroom, instructing your partner to “do X” and “touch Y,” so they hit all the things you love most, getting you closer to climaxing.
When you and your partner are out of sync, sex can be frustratingly disappointing at worst and “OK” at best. But when you make sure you’re communicating, whether through moans, body language or crystal-clear requests, you’ll make sure you’re both doing what the other needs.
3. Get your mind in the mood
Often, so many women focus on doing what feels good to the body that they forget to pay attention to what feels good to the brain. Your mindset plays a massive role in sex and orgasms, so if your mind is wandering, or you’re stressed or anxious about something else, you’re much less likely to climax. Stressing about orgasms (or a lack thereof) can prevent you from having them, too.
Try to take your mind off things and stay in the moment. If you need help, doing something to unwind like getting a massage, bathing or taking CBD can help you relax and truly home in on what’s going on right in front of you.
4. Try something new
If you’re familiar with your own needs and wants and have communicated those things to your partner, but something’s still missing, it might be time to add something else to the equation. Consider trying out a sex toy, like a vibrator, to spice things up and give you a new sensation to enjoy.
You could also try using a new type of condom, like one with a different texture, or a specialized lubricant to increase pleasure. All kinds of lubricants are hitting the market now, including those infused with CBD, like Omax Health’s O-Shot, to help your body relax and improve blood flow. Toys and accessories may give you the extra “oomph” you need.
5. Call in the pros
For some women, no amount of self-pleasure, sex toys or vocalization will help them experience that desired release. In that case, consult your doctor or a sex therapist to discuss the potential reasons behind your inability to orgasm and the solutions available. Sometimes, the issue is medical or requires more intervention than you can do alone.
If you aren’t able to achieve orgasm, don’t stress (because it will only make things worse!). Just focus on your body and what feels good, be open and honest with your partner and work together to find a solution that gets the train to the station, instead of sending it off the rails.